Halloween, though lots of frightful fun, can also be full of potential dangers. Here are some tips to make your kids' All Saints' Eve an All "Safe" Eve:
*Always trick-or-treat in groups of 400,000.
*Many troublemakers and dangerous people come out on Halloween night. To be safe, trick-or-treat in early March.
*Safety and self-defense go hand in hand. Be sure your child's handgun has at least a 10-round magazine and is at least .38 caliber to ensure stopping power.
*For optimum safety while trick-or-treating, be sure your child does not encounter fright-master screenwriter Kevin Williamson.
*Equip your child with special cyanide-filled false tooth for use in case of capture.
*Be sure child closes eyes before you drill eyeholes in mask.
*Beat would-be child murderers at their own game by poisoning your kids ahead of time.
*Dress your child in all-black costume to make him/her virtually invisible to potentially dangerous motorists.
*Tell your kids that if they see anything suspicious or scary-looking–for example, ghosts, goblins or witches–they should run to the nearest neighbor's house and call the police.
*Pack child's costume with safety flares.
*Do not ring doorbells under any circumstances.
*Always trick-or-treat in groups of 400,000.
*Many troublemakers and dangerous people come out on Halloween night. To be safe, trick-or-treat in early March.
*Safety and self-defense go hand in hand. Be sure your child's handgun has at least a 10-round magazine and is at least .38 caliber to ensure stopping power.
*For optimum safety while trick-or-treating, be sure your child does not encounter fright-master screenwriter Kevin Williamson.
*Equip your child with special cyanide-filled false tooth for use in case of capture.
*Be sure child closes eyes before you drill eyeholes in mask.
*Beat would-be child murderers at their own game by poisoning your kids ahead of time.
*Dress your child in all-black costume to make him/her virtually invisible to potentially dangerous motorists.
*Tell your kids that if they see anything suspicious or scary-looking–for example, ghosts, goblins or witches–they should run to the nearest neighbor's house and call the police.
*Pack child's costume with safety flares.
*Do not ring doorbells under any circumstances.
*Do not let your kids trick or treat at the Never Land Ranch.
3 comments:
OH MY GOSH!!!! You crack me up!
Niiiiiccee! Your poor kids :) As long as you check for razor blades in their candy bars all will be well. I'm sure D-wight would like a trick...nah, just a treat :)
You are silly! Way to go on the bobcat, Peyton!
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